Brad Update 7-17-08

Well, my friends, I don't have good news to report... unfortunately. Brad's bilirubin count has INCREASED even more to 49.2. He also has been having black diarrhea which tested positive for blood, so they admitted him back to the hospital today to do some scope tests on his upper and lower GI tracts. They don't know what is causing this and they still can't believe how bad his HCV is attacking his body. They are also giving him another blood transfusion today, which they said should help him feel better, although they said that it would FALSELY raise his bilirubin levels even more, for a short while (I believe just today, after the transfusion). He is reportedly NOT feeling well at all today... extremely tired and just sick.

I have been plagued with whether or not to go visit him. My Mom told me that 'you guys decided to move out there to make a better life for yourselves and this is the price you have to pay'... which I have to admit has completely broken my heart. As if not being there for my brother is not hard enough, I then have this guilt trip thrust upon me. I have made the trip to see him two other times already when he had his transplant... In fact, I just sent him a book, which I confirmed with Dollie that he received yesterday, but was just too weak and tired to look at... So, at least he knows that my heart is there with him, even if my physical being isn't.

I want to believe that he will pull through all this. After all, Brad is not one to take things lying down... by any means! However, I have to sadly accept the shape that he is currently in is not one that is easily overcome. I think I should just end this post with an upbeat message that came to me in email form from my Mother-in-law:

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head. Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today." So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. "H-M-M," she said, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today." So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. "Well," she said, "today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail." So she did and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head. "YEA!" she exclaimed, "I don't have to fix my hair today!"